_1790285″ src=”https://asiastories.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/460_17902851.jpg?w=150″ alt=”460>_1790285″ width=”97″ height=”84″>I was raised up as a normal, a typical Malay family. The parents are obliged to send you to Madrasa or to a grammar school. We were taught how to pray. Do not miss your prayers, fast when you need to fast, you should go to find your prayers and all that. So, I did all that, but when I was 14 years old, which was about 10 years ago, when I was 14, I had this desire to know God, to know who is Allah. I mean I was not seeking any other gods. I was not going out to search for a new religion. I just want to find out more about my own God, because I felt that there was a certain time where when I prayed, I realized that I only pray because I have to pray, not because I want to pray to God and in spiritual sense I felt very empty.
Sure, Islam is very beautiful for me and at times there are a lot of miracles that’s happening. I saw a lot of great testimonies, but still I find that God is very, very far, my Allah that I worship is very far. It’s like a routine. It’s like a normal ritual that I am doing every day, we don’t feel, but still I wouldn’t sense God was with me at that time.
So, I began to ask my ustazah or my religious teacher. I also asked my mom questions, questions which made them angry. The standard reply that they would give me was “You do not question all this. You do not question your faith or else it will shaken it, you will shaken your faith.” So I was like, “OK, since I can’t get information from my parents, from my religious teacher, I have to do it on my own.”
So, our priest called for the Internet. I actually log onto the Internet, and I actually just surfed more about Islam. In the beginning it was fine. All the websites I saw was the normal websites telling how good Islam is, there are five pillars, and all that.
I came across another website, which tells a story about my prophet at that time. The stories were very harsh. It seemed very harsh to me. He was talking about his marriages, his battles with other tribes, and I was very angry. I was very angry with the creator of the website or whoever wrote that information, because I thought that was a lie. That never happened.
Until I actually found out that whatever happens, what is actually being taught in the Hadith, in another Muslim collection of books, and I was very surprised. One thing that sort of like disgusted me was how my own prophet, whom I revered so much, got married with a lady that was much younger than him. That actually made me come to a stage where, “Wow, is Islam really real?”
I was a bit scared of course, because you are like hating a prophet that God loves so much. God loves him so much. Even before the world was formed, his soul was really there with God in a sense. I had to have a sense of spiritual, of unas in me, so I began to learn more.
I guess as I was searching for God, I drew closer to Christianity, mainly because next to my secondary school was a Catholic church. Like many, many Catholic churches, they have a very prominent statue or figurine of Jesus on a Cross. Everyday when I walked past the church, I would always look inside, without fear I would look at a statue and I often asked myself, “Who is the person? Who is this person?”
It is a gruesome sight to see a man, I mean even though it is a statue, it is very gruesome to see a skinny person with blood all over, with a crown of thorns, on a cross, dying. Somehow, when I saw that figurine or that crucifix I was at peace. I knew there was something behind it, that Cross, there’s a story behind it, so I began to search more about Christianity.
Of course, in the beginning we knew that Christians are very bad. We are always being told by my parents and by my religious teacher that Christians are the ones that will give you money to convert, they will do all sorts of magic for you so that you will convert. One of the stories is that they will give you Holy water, and when you drink it your tongue will be black and you cannot recite anymore Quranic verses. So, all of that comes to mind.
When I went to the Internet, I searched more about Christianity, I learned more about Jesus. I did a comparison study between the two faiths, between Islam and Christianity. One thing that made me confident that Jesus was Lord is that we have a prophet we address in the Quran, his story is this, “He has experienced death before. He went to hell before, and then after that he went to heaven.”
In the Quran, we all know that nobody can go to heaven without experiencing death, without experiencing hell. Then after hell, then you can go to heaven. In the story of Isa al Masih, in the Quran, he went straight to heaven to be with God.
When I look at this parallelism with Christianity, I find that Christians believe that he is God. The Muslims believe that he is with God. Who can be near God, unless you are divine or you are someone very, very holy? Isa al Masih in the Quran did not experience death, but he is still with God.
So that is one of my convictions, which finally after six to eight months of comparison study, from my computer, I just declared that “You know what? I think Jesus, you are God to me,” and that was when I was 14. That was about 10 years ago.
My journey in Christ wasn’t that fast. I grew very slowly in faith. Firstly, because I was 14 and when you became a Christian all things come to mind, especially stories which you heard about Malay being Christians, and they were kicked out of the house, they were beaten, they receive all kinds of persecution.
And I was a kid, too. So, I became a secret believer. I did not know anyone except for one person, one of my good friends. So, I grew up, slowly. I actually went to the national library to borrow Bible, and to read from there.
And there was one instance, I guess. My mom saw me reading a Bible, but that was in a hotel room. I was reading the hotel Bible. She asked me “What are you reading?” I said “I am reading the Bible.” And then after that, she was very quiet. So, I don’t know. Maybe God is working somewhere at that time.
Over the years, as I got older, I was enlisted to be in the army. If you understand Malay culture, the Malays like to have… whenever we are going to do something big, a big project or like for my case, going to be enlisted to the army, you’ll be more closer to God.
We will hold a lot of festivals, and the Malays will call it a konduris and they do al salama, a time of prayer. So I decided I think it’s time for me to go to church, to first step into the church. So, I first went into the Catholic church, I was just a normal Sunday attendee. I go there, I just sit in the back of the pew, and just listen, and then go out.
I realized that soon after I saw certain practices in the church itself, which I was not very peaceful about. I saw a person prostrating down in front of the saint. So, I realized that maybe this is not my church. So, I went on to a Protestant church, and from then I felt very happy, and so I decided to be baptized.
During my baptism course of study the church required us to go for six months course, six months study so I had this file which was filled with all the Christian notes. So there was this particular night I actually forgot to hide the file. So, I left it open on my bed.
My parents on that night I think came home from work, and I was in the living room, playing computer. And I guess she walked past my room, she saw that file, she was curious, she took a look at it, she carried it, she brought it in front of me and she placed it in front and she asked me, “What is this?”
I was very stunned, I was speechless. I wanted to lie, I wanted to say “Oh, this belongs to my friend,” or I wanted to say I am working for the church. But I cannot lie because my names are all on the forms… my IC number, my full name, so I know I cannot run away. So I just closed the file and I told my mom. “Mom, this is my private things,” I said. My mom said “No, you wait here and I will call your father.”
So she went to the kitchen. I quickly take the file and hide it in my room cupboard. My mom saw me going to the room and opening my cupboard, so she knows exactly where I hide the file. But, she doesn’t know the specific spot.
So she came in later with my father. She was very hysterical, she was shouting “Where is the file? Where is the file?” I told her “I do not know.” I ran out of the room.
The cupboard once belongs to my mom. It’s an old cupboard. It’s a very simple cupboard with a top shelf, a middle drawer, and a bottom shelf. And in that drawer where I hide the file, is where she used to keep all her birth certificate, her jewelries, all her important documents are there in that drawer. I’m sure she wouldn’t miss the drawer. She’ll definitely open that drawer first.
So, I ran out of the room. I ran to the living room. And for the first time, I prayed to God something that I really want. I want it to be fulfilled. So I prayed to God: “Lord, I’ve never asked anything from you for the past six years. Please blind their eyes, I really don’t want them to find the file.” So I prayed to God to blind their eyes.
And I got up. I don’t know how I got the courage, but I actually got up and ran into the room and I look at their faces. They were so hysterical, they were just rummaging through the cupboard. And for the next one and a half hours, what my parents did was to search the top shelf, and they skipped the drawer, they went to the bottom shelf. All this happened for the next one and a half hours.
Somehow or the other, I think God has just covered their eyes, or has prevented them from opening that drawer. And I was pleased with God at that time, that my faith actually just skyrocketed up.
Yeah. And I know some people have told me, “Oh, maybe your mom was confused at the time. Maybe she couldn’t see the drawer.” But, I told my friends that, you know, my dad was there too. And my dad is a very alert person. Two persons couldn’t see the drawer, which is very obvious? I don’t think that’s a possibility.
So they went out of the room, and then I prayed to God: “Oh Lord, thank you so much.” And I told God that you know, I do not want this situation to be prolonged. I hope everything will be back to normal tomorrow.
The reason why I didn’t want them to find the file that they know I am a Christian is OK, but I do not want them to know the name of the church that I am going to, because I am just worried that they might call up the church, or they might create trouble with the church, and that is what I’m trying to prevent. It’s OK if they know me as a Christian, as a believer, but I just do not want the church to be involved. Really, the church is kind enough to accept me as who I am.
So, I went to sleep on that night. The next morning, my mom just knocked on my door and told me to have breakfast. So, I came out of the room, and my dad came up, took the bread and he just nod at me. From then on, ’til now, we’ve never talked anything about that incident.
I guess they know that I am a believer in Jesus, but somehow… or rather, they refuse to acknowledge… maybe they are just trying to be in denial that I’m a believer.
After the incident, after that little persecution that I faced, just very little, I managed to grow steadily in faith. Currently, I’m in full time ministry. I’m attending Bible college. I’m taking degree in theology. I really hope one day that I can serve effectively to the Malays here.
And God has been very good to me over these years, provided me with finance, with good health, good family relationship, and better friends. I have lots of friends last time, but all those friends do not have the kingdom mentality. Right now, I’m very glad that my friends that I have now are all focused into walking into the kingdom. That’s just my story [laughs], and a little miracle that has happened in my life.
Stories from Asia 
